ianrandmckenzie

A Vague Threat Toward Bunko

KIT

Proper Cultivation of Fernweed

by ianrandmckenzie

BOOK

Page 1 of 9

Proper Cultivation of
Fernweed
by ianrandmckenzie
Dec. 28, 2021

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Ahh, fernweed, the
finest weed in all the
shire. Its exemplary
savory sweet notes
are only matched by
its mind-rolling, lucid
high to delight every
facet of your senses.

But, how do you grow
it? It can be a fickle
art, and I'm here to
help.

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Firstly, it begins with
foraging the ideal
seeds. While jungle
biomes are ideal for a
balls-to-the-wall,
"where the fuck is my
left arm?" type of
high, the taste is bitter
and burns the throat.

Likewise, while spruce
biomes are ideal for

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a phenomenal flavor
that will turn you into
a pack-a-day puffing
machine, all good
things in moderation.

This is why I
recommend collecting
seeds from more mild
climates like your
typical oak or birch
forest.

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Secondly, an ideal
crop cannot thrive on
its own. You must
supply it regularly
with premium bonemeal.
Ideally, bonemeal
acquired from the
freshest skeletons
you can find.
Any winter biome is
best since the marrow
is quite well preserved.

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Lastly, harvesting. The
most ideal is a harvest
in mid-day. This is when
the plant is at its peak
nutritional absorption.
In order for
nutritional absorption,
it opens its kronolk
pipes. These pipes will
remain open if you cut
them from

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the base of their stem.

As I'm sure you know,
when the kronolk pipes
are open, when the
plant is burned, it
triples the efficacy of
the high.

Have you ever ridden
a fractal wave in the
blissful abyss of
nothingness?

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Well, now you will now
that you know the
proper cultivation of
Fernweed!

Good luck, young
botonist!

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Thanks for reading!
You can find more of
my works on:
§9ianrandmckenzie.com

While you're at it,
check out the social
app for Minecrafters:
§9enderbook.com

Much love from
Canada. -Ian